Writing on Relationships, Attachment & Growth
Reflections on relationships, growth, and the courage to know yourself — written for anyone who takes their inner life seriously.
New reflections published regularly
The Seesaw: On Staying with Yourself While Letting Others In
Real communication is not about saying less or feeling less — it is about learning to hold two things at once There is a moment many of us know. We are in a conversation, e.g. at work, with a friend, in the middle of something that matters, and something goes slightly wrong. The other person…
Beyond Survival: Trauma, the Body, and the Healing Power of Relationship
Trauma is not a life sentence—but a process that has been interrupted This perspective opens something important: It moves us away from the idea of damage and toward the possibility of completion. Trauma as an Incomplete Process At the heart of trauma lies a simple but profound insight: the human organism already knows how to…
Reflections for couples
There is nothing wrong with you On stress, desire, and why your sexual struggles are more normal than you think If you have ever found yourself lying awake wondering why intimacy feels so difficult, why desire seems to have disappeared, or why the two of you can't seem to find your way back to each…
Stress, Belonging and the Courage to Feel
The invisible weight of chronic stress Chronic stress is a health issue that often goes unnoticed and is rarely talked about. Typically, people adjust emotionally and get used to their symptoms unless an ECG indicates problems such as high or low blood pressure, or other persistent physical pain reminds them of an underlying distress. The…
When Attachment Takes Everything
Why Some People Never “Started Dating” In the 1950s, psychologist Harry Harlow conducted a series of now well-known—and deeply troubling—experiments with infant rhesus monkeys. The young monkeys formed attachments to artificial “mothers,” even when these figures were cold, mechanical, and at times actively harmful. Some of these “mothers” rejected the infants by shaking them off,…
When Performance Becomes a Measure of Lovability
There is a quiet but powerful link between performance anxiety and the feeling of not being truly lovable. At first glance, performance anxiety seems to be about pressure: deadlines, expectations, competition, and the fear of not doing well enough. In a rapidly changing world, shaped by uncertainty and developments like artificial intelligence, this pressure can…