Writing on Relationships, Attachment & Growth
Reflections on relationships, growth, and the courage to know yourself — written for anyone who takes their inner life seriously.
New reflections published regularly
The Hardest Part Isn't Deciding
A reflection on life-changing decisions, what makes them possible, and why so many of us stay stuck There's a moment most of us know. You've made the decision. Finally. After weeks or months of circling it, you've landed. You know what you need to do. And then — nothing changes. You go back. You stay.…
When the Circle Is Not Wide Enough
On Neurodivergence, Inclusion, and the Kinds of Minds We Still Leave Behind A follow-up to Why Intelligence Is Not What We Think It Is In my last post on neurodivergence, I wrote about how intelligence is far broader than what we have been taught to measure. Image-based thinking, relational knowing, variable attention: not deficits, but…
Trauma Is Not the End of the Story
Understanding How Healing Works There is a deeply rooted cultural narrative about trauma: that it permanently damages people, that healing means merely learning to cope, and that some wounds never truly change. Trauma is indeed devastating, and its effects should never be minimised. But this story is incomplete. A growing body of knowledge, from neuroscience,…
The Seesaw: On Staying with Yourself While Letting Others In
Real communication is not about saying less or feeling less — it is about learning to hold two things at once There is a moment many of us know. We are in a conversation, e.g. at work, with a friend, in the middle of something that matters, and something goes slightly wrong. The other person…
Beyond Survival: Trauma, the Body, and the Healing Power of Relationship
Trauma is not a life sentence—but a process that has been interrupted This perspective opens something important: It moves us away from the idea of damage and toward the possibility of completion. Trauma as an Incomplete Process At the heart of trauma lies a simple but profound insight: the human organism already knows how to…
Reflections for couples
There is nothing wrong with you On stress, desire, and why your sexual struggles are more normal than you think If you have ever found yourself lying awake wondering why intimacy feels so difficult, why desire seems to have disappeared, or why the two of you can't seem to find your way back to each…