Writing on Relationships, Attachment & Growth
Reflections on relationships, growth, and the courage to know yourself — written for anyone who takes their inner life seriously.
New reflections published regularly
What the Rainbow Knows About Conflict
I've been reading Julie and John Gottman's book, *Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection*, and one image from it has stayed with me: Asked as a child what she thought would happen if parents fought all the time, she said: I guess there wouldn't be any rainbows in the house. A rainbow…
What Anger Has to Do with Love
Why securely functioning relationships need anger and what happens when it goes unspoken. Recently someone said to me: “If anger is an emotion too, then it seems like there’s always something.” I smiled. Because in a way, I think they're right. We tend to think of anger as the emotion that breaks the connection. The…
When Words Fall Short, Music Speaks
A reflection on music as emotional language, what it reveals before words are ready, and why it has become central to the way I work A friend once asked me: "What's your theme song today?" Without thinking, I named a house track. My friends assumed I must have been joyful, energised, ready to dance. In…
The Hardest Part Isn't Deciding
A reflection on life-changing decisions, what makes them possible, and why so many of us stay stuck There's a moment most of us know. You've made the decision. Finally. After weeks or months of circling it, you've landed. You know what you need to do. And then — nothing changes. You go back. You stay.…
When the Circle Is Not Wide Enough
On Neurodivergence, Inclusion, and the Kinds of Minds We Still Leave Behind A follow-up to Why Intelligence Is Not What We Think It Is In my last post on neurodivergence, I wrote about how intelligence is far broader than what we have been taught to measure. Image-based thinking, relational knowing, variable attention: not deficits, but…
Trauma Is Not the End of the Story
Understanding How Healing Works There is a deeply rooted cultural narrative about trauma: that it permanently damages people, that healing means merely learning to cope, and that some wounds never truly change. Trauma is indeed devastating, and its effects should never be minimised. But this story is incomplete. A growing body of knowledge, from neuroscience,…