Writing on Relationships, Attachment & Growth
Reflections on relationships, growth, and the courage to know yourself — written for anyone who takes their inner life seriously.
New reflections published regularly
Healing Attachment Wounds: Why Do I Have to Go Through All This Suffering?
Why do I have to go through all this suffering? And perhaps an even harder question follows it: if the crisis is over, why am I still not okay? In an earlier blog, When Crises Initiate, I wrote about crisis as the point at which the ways we have understood ourselves and navigated our lives…
When Crises Initiate
I don't know exactly when it happened. The part that surprises people most when I talk about it is the fact that I can't point to a single moment and say: there. That's when something changed. We're trained to expect transformation to arrive like a scene in a film: a diagnosis, a collapse, a turning…
When Attachment Takes Everything
Why Some People Never “Started Dating” In the 1950s, psychologist Harry Harlow conducted a series of now well-known—and deeply troubling—experiments with infant rhesus monkeys. The young monkeys formed attachments to artificial “mothers,” even when these figures were cold, mechanical, and at times actively harmful. Some of these “mothers” rejected the infants by shaking them off,…