Writing on Relationships, Attachment & Growth
Reflections on relationships, growth, and the courage to know yourself — written for anyone who takes their inner life seriously.
New reflections published regularly
When Crises Initiate
I don't know exactly when it happened. The part that surprises people most when I talk about it is the fact that I can't point to a single moment and say: there. That's when something changed. We're trained to expect transformation to arrive like a scene in a film: a diagnosis, a collapse, a turning…
What the Rainbow Knows About Conflict
I've been reading Julie and John Gottman's book, *Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection*, and one image from it has stayed with me: Asked as a child what she thought would happen if parents fought all the time, she said: I guess there wouldn't be any rainbows in the house. A rainbow…
What Anger Has to Do with Love
Why securely functioning relationships need anger and what happens when it goes unspoken. Recently someone said to me: “If anger is an emotion too, then it seems like there’s always something.” I smiled. Because in a way, I think they're right. We tend to think of anger as the emotion that breaks the connection. The…
When Words Fall Short, Music Speaks
A reflection on music as emotional language, what it reveals before words are ready, and why it has become central to the way I work A friend once asked me: "What's your theme song today?" Without thinking, I named a house track. My friends assumed I must have been joyful, energised, ready to dance. In…
The Hardest Part Isn't Deciding
A reflection on life-changing decisions, what makes them possible, and why so many of us stay stuck There's a moment most of us know. You've made the decision. Finally. After weeks or months of circling it, you've landed. You know what you need to do. And then — nothing changes. You go back. You stay.…
When the Circle Is Not Wide Enough
On Neurodivergence, Inclusion, and the Kinds of Minds We Still Leave Behind A follow-up to Why Intelligence Is Not What We Think It Is In my last post on neurodivergence, I wrote about how intelligence is far broader than what we have been taught to measure. Image-based thinking, relational knowing, variable attention: not deficits, but…